Sixteen Candles (1984)

sixteen candles

Happy New Year, listeners! Since it’s 2016, we thought we’d kick things off with John Hughes’ cult comedy classic Sixteen Candles – you know, the one with all the racism and implicit date rape?

Returning guest Julia joins us to take on yet another John Hughes movie and yet another high school flick (both subgroups of film that Jared has historically hated). Will he be turned around by the charmingly self-centered travails of sexually frustrated teen Sam (Molly Ringwald), insecure predator The Geek (Anthony Michael Hall), and the “handsome but totally willing to let his girlfriend have blackout drunk sex with a stranger so he can go off and chase another girl” Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling)? We’ll give you a hint: a few fun sight gags aside, this film does not age well in 2016. Still, take a listen along with our custom cocktail and drinking rules as we look at this comedy classic both in and out of its very specific cultural context!

(Thanks to our sponsor Brewpass as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)


THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: Ten Different Ways

Named after one of the grosser things said in the film, we decided to give Sam the birthday cake shot she never got, but in cocktail form – along with champagne, since it’s the new year. Either buy Three Olives’ Sweet Tart vodka or infuse your own by leaving your favorite flavor(s) of Sweet Tarts in a bottle of vodka to infuse overnight!

2 parts Sweet Tart vodka
4 parts Prosecco
1 part lemon juice
1 part cranberry juice

Combine in a cocktail glass over ice.


  1. Anytime someone makes a comment about Molly Ringwald’s body
  2. Whenever kids hurl rad 80s insults at each other (e.g. jerk, buttwipe)
  3. Every time Long Duk Dong’s presence or name is heralded with a gong


Sam and Jake say, “Make a wish?” “It already came true.”

Join us next week as we hit 2016 running with 1999’s off-kilter sci-fi adaptation of Beowulf, starring Christopher Lambert!

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About Alcohollywood Staff

The film staff of the film website/podcast Alcohollywood.

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