Beowulf (1999)


This week on the podcast, Clint and Jared go it alone as we dive into the deep dark recesses of 90s goth-action-horror with the 1999’s Beowulf! “Based” on the 8th-century epic poem, this steampunk/Hot Topic goth retelling of the classic tale sees the Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert (channeling both Rayden and Roy Batty from Blade Runner) arriving at a mysterious post-apocalyptic outpost to help slay a mysterious creature besieging it. Along the way, he ogles Rhona Mitra’s comely Kyra, poses incessantly with all manner of weird weapons with gears on them, and generally gets everyone around him killed. Check out our custom cocktail and drinking rules, while we discuss its links to Mortal Kombat, the weird MTV-style sexuality of Grendel’s mom, and how these characters seem physically incapable of taking off their leather pants.

(Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)


THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: One of the Damned

beowulf cocktailSince this film comes from the minds of the Mortal Kombat folks, we brought back that film’s beet-juice cocktail and used that base ingredient for a whole new spin on that material! Using bay leaves (cause Bay-o-wolf, eh? eh?) to inject some spice into this already rich drink, we balanced that out with lemon and cherry flavors, as well as the bittersweetness of zucca amaro and rye. 

2 parts fresh beet juice
1 fresh bay leaf
3 parts rye
1 part zucca amaro
Splash, lemon syrup
Dash, cherry bitters

Combine in a shaker with ice; shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass, served either up or on the rocks. 


  1. Every time a new 90s techno electronica beat starts up
  2. Whenever Beowulf does a sick flip
  3. Any time the film gratuitously displays Rhona Mitra’s or Layla Roberts’ ample bosoms for all to see


Kyra seduces Beowulf by purring, “Tonight is full of magic.”

Join us next week as we shift gears to the crazy 2009 death-race anime Redline!

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About Alcohollywood Staff

The film staff of the film website/podcast Alcohollywood.

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