Jared’s been zapped into another dimension, so Jon Espino of The Young Folks and HollywoodChicago.com joins Clint to investigate the mysteries of Netflix’s Super Bowl-marketed sci-fi disaster The Cloverfield Paradox!
A previously-unrelated sci-fi thriller given the J.J. Abrams treatment, The Cloverfield Paradox turns Julius Onah’s The God Particle into a confusing, meandering installment of Paramount’s favorite clearinghouse for original sci-fi movies!
Here, the crew of the Cloverfield Station (Daniel Bruhl, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, John Ortiz, Chris O’Down, David Oyelowo, Ziyi Zhang, Aksel Hennie) run a Large Hadron Collider in space to solve the world’s energy crisis. Once they fire it up, though, they find themselves in another reality with the Earth gone, a mysterious visitor (Elizabeth Debicki) stuck in the wall, and all kinds of crazy dimension-warping shenanigans.
That sounds really cool, right? Unfortunately, it becomes a boring slog of flat characters, confusing technobabble and some arbitrary connections to the rest of the otherwise-solid Cloverfield universe. Still, Clint and Jon soldier on for your pleasure – listen and check out our custom cocktail and drinking game!
DRINKING RULES FOR THE CLOVERFIELD PARADOX:
- Any time you see or hear something that’s obviously a reshoot to make the movie more Cloverfield-y (mentions of Cloverfield, Slusho, Kelvin)
- Every time Chris O’Dowd’s character cracks wise
- Whenever the characters mention, once again, that starvation/war is inevitable
FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:
Tam (Ziyi Zhang) says in Mandarin, “Logic doesn’t apply to any of this.”
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