This week, special guest James D’amato of the One Shot Podcast joins us to close out our dragon-filled May with the infamous 2000 flop Dungeons & Dragons! This bafflingly cheeseball adaptation of the classic RPG features a ragtag party of thieves (including a smug Justin Whalen and mincing Marlon Wayans), dwarves, mages and elves who must stop the evil machinations of the scenery-demolishing Profion (Jeremy Irons) and his attempt to seize power from the sleepy Princess Savina (Thora Birch). It’s an infamous failure, but one with a fascinating behind the scenes story, which we recount among the movie’s many failings – along with our custom cocktail and drinking game!
(Thanks to our sponsor Jackbox Games as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)
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THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: The Saving Throw
For our final dragon drink, we did a small spin on an old classic – the Old Fashioned! Adding barbecue bitters and swapping out the cherry for a raspberry gives it a smokier, tarter flavor, letting you embark upon your drinking quest in style.
1.5oz bourbon or rye whiskey (your choice)
1 demerara sugar cube
Raspberry
lemon
2 dashes, Memphis Bar-B-Que bitters
Put the cube (along with raspberry) in a rocks glass and wet it with some bitters and a tiny splash of water. Muddle the sugar and bitters until roughly combined. Add large ice cubes, pour over the whiskey and add a fresh raspberry and lemon wedge. Add d20 for garnish and roll for constitution.
DRINKING RULES FOR DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS:
- Whenever Justin Whalen gives a smug smile (mutter “Look at that asshole!”)
- Any time the movie explicitly cribs from a Lucasfilm production (cantinas, lightsabers, trap-laden treasure mazes, etc.)
- Every time a character says “rod”
FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:
Jeremy Irons screeches, “LET THEIR BLOOD RAIN FROM THE SKY!”
Join us next week as we move from Dragons to Lovecraft with the 1994 John Carpenter flick In the Mouth of Madness!
I mean, did they actually steal TSR from Gygax, or did they correctly identify him as the problem? I’m not hatin’ on him personally, but if you go back and look at his editorials in ancient Dragon magazines, his business acumen becomes a little bit suspect.
The backstory of how this movie came to be made (and a little of .. why it is how it is) was fascinating, great research there.
However, I was left with one important question: did the movie successfully sell toys?