MARCH ON MARS: Red Planet (2000)

red planet

All of March, the Alcohollywood crew is blasting off to the Red Planet for five movies set on Mars! First up, Nick Freed of Consequence of Sound joins us to talk 2000’s Red Planet (namely, the movie where Val Kilmer threw a dumbbell at Tom Sizemore during filming). The Armageddon to Mission to Mars’ Deep Impact, Red Planet is a bizarre mix of 2001, Stealth and The Matrix in which a group of bro-y scientists crash-land on Mars to investigate a failed terraforming experiment, only to find themselves on the run against a killer military robot they decided to bring along with them! The whole thing is a glorious trainwreck, and we’re here to give you the custom cocktail and drinking rules you need!

(Thanks to our sponsor Field Notes as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)

LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:

THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: The AMEE

Since algae is the name of the game in this film, we decided to make a Jell-O shot using agar agar powder (basically an algae-based gelatin – if you can’t find agar agar, or don’t generally care if your shots are vegan, feel free to use regular gelatin). To that end, we added watermelon (because Kilmer’s character is named Gallagher), kiwi-infused rum and lime bitters for the kind of tropical drink that matches Kilmer’s and Sizemore’s goofy Hawaiian shirts on the spaceship. 

1 3/4 tsp Agar agar powder
1 cup watermelon juice
2/3 cup kiwi-infused rum
dash, lime bitters

  1. Heat up the agar agar and watermelon juice in a saucepan to a light boil for 3-4 minutes.
  2. Add the rum and bitters, stir until combined, and pour in the shotglasses or cups of your choosing.
  3. Bottoms up!

RULES:

1) Drink whenever the movie brings up God or faith in really hamfisted ways
2) Drink every time Carrie-Anne Moss flips a million switches, buttons and levers
3) Drink any time Carrie-Anne Moss asserts herself as a strong woman. (Bonus points every time Moss refers to the others as ‘guys’ or ‘boys’)

FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:

Val Kilmer mopes, “I’m gonna die on this planet.”

Join us next week as we check out the other half of 2000’s Mars double feature with Brian De Palma’s Mission to Mars!

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About Clint Worthington

Clint Worthington is a Chicago-based film/TV critic and podcaster. A member of the Chicago Film Critics Association, you can find his other film work at Consequence of Sound (where he is a Senior Staff Writer), Crooked Marquee, IndieWire and UPROXX. He is also the co-host of Nathan Rabin's Happy Cast.

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