CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: Rare Exports (2010) w/Nightmare Gallery & Our Fair City

rare exports

Merry Krampus, listeners! We’re celebrating Christmas by dipping back into the horror well with Daniel Lackey of The Nightmare Gallery and Ele Matelan of Our Fair City and WildClaw Theatre, as we dig into the Finnish horror flick Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale! A micro-budgeted curiosity from 2010, Rare Exports follows the travails of a small rural community in Finland who runs afoul of the historical Santa – now a homicidal, mute old man who’s more Hannibal Lecter than Kris Kringle.

From herds of nude old men to dozens of children in rucksacks to defensive use of gingerbread, this movie’s got quite a bit of charm to it, and we highly recommend it if you’re not just gonna be watching The Interview on Christmas Day. Check out our custom cocktail to lighten up your holidays, not to mention our drinking rules!

LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:

THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: Scare Nutm-egg-sports

rare exports cocktailSince it’s the holiday season, we thought we’d combine two of Christmas’ favorite treats – gingerbread and eggnog – to make a gingerbread-spiced eggnog! Along with some nice nutty spice from clove, ginger, allspice and more, we also arm you with all the booze you need to get through those tense holiday dinners. PROTIP: Take the gingerbread spices and mix them with the appropriate amounts of flour, baking soda, baking powder, and egg to make some awesome gingerbread cookies to dip in your eggnog!

1 dozen eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 1/3 cup unsulphured molasses
2 cups St. Remy Brandy
1 ½ cups Captain Morgan Spiced gold rum
½ cup amaretto
2 cups cream
6 cups 2% milk
Pinch, salt
1 tbsp ground ginger
2 tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp ground clove
¼ tsp ground allspice
¼ tsp, vanilla extract

1) Separate the eggs into whites and yolks. Combine the yolks with the brown sugar and molasses, then mix in the boozes and spices. Stir well to combine, making sure to fully incorporate the spices so there aren’t any lumps, and put that in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours.
2) Once the mix has thickened up, whisk the egg whites so they’re thickened up, but not quite as stiff as you would for a meringue. Fold that gently into the pitcher and chill once more in the fridge, ideally another hour or two.
3) When it’s all ready, pour as you like into your glass and top with a dash of nutmeg, whipped cream and/or some crumbled gingerbread cookie crumbs. It’s a Krampus miracle!

DRINKING RULES FOR RARE EXPORTS:

  1. Whenever Pietari’s father shouts his son’s name
  2. Every time you see lingering shots of the mountain where Santa is buried
  3. Any time someone eats or offers a gingerbread cookie, apparently the national cuisine of Finland

FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:

Pietari’s father says during the film’s big explosion, “Have a Merry Christmas…and a happy bloody New Year.”

Join us on the other side of the New Year, when we ring in 2015 with the Robert De Niro/Edward Burns thriller 15 Minutes!

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About Clint Worthington

Clint Worthington is a Chicago-based film critic and podcaster. A member of the Chicago Independent Film Critics Circle, you can find his other film work at Consequence of Sound, Crooked Marquee and UPROXX. He is also the co-host of Nathan Rabin's Happy Cast.

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