FOURTH OF JULY SPECIAL: The Patriot (2000)

patriot

Happy birthday, America! We’re celebrating the Fourth of July in style here on Alcohollywood, as we take on Roland Emmerich’s American Braveheart, aka The Patriot! Returning guest Dusty Wilson comes back to indulge in this three hour long exercise in melodrama,  Mel Gibson crying faces, and slow motion flag waving (and flag stabbing).

With a giant ensemble cast, and a suitably bombastic John Williams score, The Patriot cements itself as one of the most American movies a German has ever made starring two Australians. Luckily, we’ve also got a custom cocktail and drinking rules to help wash down this steaming pile of America, so take a look and listen below!

LISTEN HERE OR DOWNLOAD:

THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: The Star-Spangled Mangler

patriot cocktailFor this old-school patriotic flagfest, we decided to emulate the Southern charm of The Patriot with a refreshing, spectacular summer drink based around sweet tea vodka and lemon sparkling water. But wait, we round it out with a surprise sneak attack from the British with a splash of Old Tom Gin! The result is a cocktail that will cool you off, whether you’re on the grill or burying an ornate hatchet into the head of a Redcoat. Enjoy, and happy fourth of July!

small bunch, raspberries
lemon juice, 1/3 part *
simple syrup, 1/3 part *
soda water, 1/3 part *
(*can substitute with 1 parts lemon sparkling water if needed)
splash, Old Tom gin
strawberries, cream cheese, blueberries (for garnish)

1) Muddle strawberries in shaker. Add ice, vodka, gin and lemon sparkling water and stir.
2) Pour into Collins glass; add fruit for garnish. Consume!

DRINKING RULES FOR THE PATRIOT:

  1. Whenever a scene suddenly turns to dusk
  2. Any time you see someone killed in a creative way (dismemberment, etc.)
  3. Every time Mel Gibson talks about his family

FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:

Ben Martin (Mel Gibson) says, “No. My sons were better men.”

Join us next week as we get weird with the recently-unearthed 1970s new-cult-canon film The Visitor!

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About Clint Worthington

Clint Worthington is a Chicago-based film critic and podcaster. A member of the Chicago Independent Film Critics Circle, you can find his other film work at Consequence of Sound, Crooked Marquee and UPROXX. He is also the co-host of Nathan Rabin's Happy Cast.

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