This week on Alcohollywood, Mark Soloff of Blastropodcast and Ryan Bond of Our Fair City join us to slog through the three hour apocalyptic Western-y flop The Postman, starring/directed by Kevin Costner! In this follow-up to his other sci-fi flop Waterworld, Costner plays a rugged drifter in a desolate, apocalyptic Oregon, who takes up the mantle of “Postman” in order to deliver mail to these post-apocalyptic shantytowns and rebuild America. While there are some neat ideas behind it, the film’s bloated budget, languid pace, and miscast lead results in a three-hour snoozefest that even we have a bit of trouble putting into words. Luckily, we’ve got some help thanks to our drinking game and custom cocktail, so check those out below!
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THIS EPISODE’S DRINK: Postal-pocalypse
For this post-apocalyptic drink, we decided to evoke some of the desert environments we see in the film, while also giving you a mix of the kind of ingredients you’d be regrowing after civilization became a little more agrarian (as well as some stuff you wouldn’t easily get anymore). The mixture of tequila and cantaloupe juice is a refreshing combination you wouldn’t quite expect.
1 part gold tequila
1 part orange juice
5 parts cantaloupe juice
1 part orange liqueur
1 part ginger liqueur
Splash, Grant Poppy poppy tincture
1 part Jim Beam bourbon
Juice cantaloupe; combine ingredients in Mason jar with ice, and stir to combine. Deliver express to your mouth.
DRINKING RULES FOR THE POSTMAN:
- Any time someone lies or dissembles
- Every time the Postman makes an escape
- Whenever someone actually says the word ‘postman’
FINISH YOUR DRINK WHEN:
The Postman says, “I believe…in the United States!”
Join us next week as we head across the Pacific and into the dreamworld with the Satoshi Kon anime film Paprika!